Goodbye

​I’m mad, I’m very angry

I’m filled with rage, I feel like breaking something, anything, but I can’t

I can’t ‘cause I’m broke, I cant afford to replace it

I want to punch something but there’s nothing close

Feel like I’m possessed, my rib cage moving up and down

Fuck I’m I even writing?

FUCK life! Yeah I said it!

This shit hole is full of ungrateful bastards fuck it!

You wouldn’t understand

You don’t know the half of it

Imperfect beings seeking for the perfection in me!

I did all I could, yeah I fell, slipped, dragged, trailed but I never gave up

But they still didn’t appreciate my efforts

I’m tired!

Someone asked me if I want to die?

Honestly at this moment, it doesn’t sound like a bad idea

I’ll wait for mom and dad to go to sleep

It’ll only take second to make a loop, tie it somewhere high, and let go!

Mom’s tears won’t bring me back, but at least I’ll find some peace

I know God won’t forgive me, but I know He’ll understand me

I won’t be missed, that I’m sure of

Been working my ass off all year but they still said no

I couldn’t  give 100% but I still made the effort

I’m not depressed, I’m just angry

I know I’ll be depressed for a while to come

I tried talking to someone but he made it worse

He couldn’t see things from my perspective

Fuck!

Trust me, death doesn’t scare me right

Rather me than you

Dad will miss me, mom will cry for days, but they’ll forget me in years

All I wanted was to serve

I’ve been waiting for this my whole life but they just said no

I’m happy for the other guys

I really am

But 

Currently not in the mood right now

Unappreciated, this thing sucks!

I need to move, that’s what I’ll do

I don’t know if I want to kill myself

It won’t solve this problem 

But I know I’ll find some peace

The voices in my head telling me to stop

 Voices in my head saying “don’t kill yourself, if you die, I die too”

Too late voices, I decide my own fate

Fuck!

Do I care?

It hurts, it really does, words can’t explain it

Don’t worry I won’t do anything stupid, but I can’t promise not to think about it

Just felt I need to write what I’m feeling right now

I doubt y’all understand it

My friends will make jokes about this

I can’t blame them, why would they care?

I didn’t want to be cruel, that’s why I’m writing this goodbye note

Don’t bother looking for me

It’s too late

We’ll die someday, maybe my time is now.

– CleDre.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s