I’m mad, I’m very angry
I’m filled with rage, I feel like breaking something, anything, but I can’t
I can’t ‘cause I’m broke, I cant afford to replace it
I want to punch something but there’s nothing close
Feel like I’m possessed, my rib cage moving up and down
Fuck I’m I even writing?
FUCK life! Yeah I said it!
This shit hole is full of ungrateful bastards fuck it!
You wouldn’t understand
You don’t know the half of it
Imperfect beings seeking for the perfection in me!
I did all I could, yeah I fell, slipped, dragged, trailed but I never gave up
But they still didn’t appreciate my efforts
Someone asked me if I want to die?
Honestly at this moment, it doesn’t sound like a bad idea
I’ll wait for mom and dad to go to sleep
It’ll only take second to make a loop, tie it somewhere high, and let go!
Mom’s tears won’t bring me back, but at least I’ll find some peace
I know God won’t forgive me, but I know He’ll understand me
I won’t be missed, that I’m sure of
Been working my ass off all year but they still said no
I couldn’t give 100% but I still made the effort
I’m not depressed, I’m just angry
I know I’ll be depressed for a while to come
I tried talking to someone but he made it worse
He couldn’t see things from my perspective
Trust me, death doesn’t scare me right
Rather me than you
Dad will miss me, mom will cry for days, but they’ll forget me in years
All I wanted was to serve
I’ve been waiting for this my whole life but they just said no
I’m happy for the other guys
I really am
Currently not in the mood right now
Unappreciated, this thing sucks!
I need to move, that’s what I’ll do
I don’t know if I want to kill myself
It won’t solve this problem
But I know I’ll find some peace
The voices in my head telling me to stop
Voices in my head saying “don’t kill yourself, if you die, I die too”
Too late voices, I decide my own fate
Do I care?
It hurts, it really does, words can’t explain it
Don’t worry I won’t do anything stupid, but I can’t promise not to think about it
Just felt I need to write what I’m feeling right now
I doubt y’all understand it
My friends will make jokes about this
I can’t blame them, why would they care?
I didn’t want to be cruel, that’s why I’m writing this goodbye note
Don’t bother looking for me
It’s too late
We’ll die someday, maybe my time is now.