Torgbui Bajidiwe Agbeme

I just took my new Iphone 6 plus to the office to show off, I’ve been saving money for the last six months to buy this Iphone, the price tag was 2,600 cedis. ‘Tear rubber’, fresh in box. Never been used before. My colleagues have been laughing at my old android phone for ages.

 I asked a friend in U.S to buy an Iphone 6 plus for me when he comes to Ghana. So I’ve been saving towards it. He came on Sunday, met him at the airport, paid cash and received my phone. I was very excited, cos finally the laughter at the office would cease.

I couldn’t wait till Monday, I wanted everyone to see my new phone. I got to work on Monday, I had it in my hand, I was swinging it around for everyone to see it. News that I had bought an Iphone spread like wild fire in a forest. My colleagues were giving me fans, it felt good charle, It felt as if I was gliding in mid-air.

The girls were coming over to my desk just to admire my new phone. I was the only person who had the Iphone 6 plus. My boss even came to see my new phone. I was happy eeehh. The whole morning I left the phone on the desk, so that everyone would see it.

Work had been good so far. It was time to knock off work. So I left my new phone on my desk just to take a quick ‘pee’ at the washroom before I go home. When I came back, my phone wasn’t there. The phone was on the table when I left to the washroom, but when I came back it wasn’t there, I couldn’t ‘think far’, I couldn’t ‘think madness’. I called my number several times but it was ‘switched off’.

For a moment, I thought it was one of my colleagues playing pranks with me. I asked around but no one had seen it. I searched under my desk, thinking it might had fell on the floor, I even check my drawer twice, but nothing! I started sweating like I was in an oven. I couldn’t bear think someone had stolen it. What pained me the most was, I didn’t set my iCloud account on the phone.

I cried the whole night, only alcohol could console me. I was there thinking who might have done this to me? I couldn’t think of anyone. I was in so much pain, I couldn’t get a goodnight sleep.

I got to work the next day, and news that someone had stolen my phone, was ‘the new office headline’. I didn’t know if people were sympathizing with me or laughing at me. But low key, I knew they were laughing at me. I was sad and quiet the entire day. I didn’t talk to anyone, I even ditched lunch break. I just stayed in the office.

Then a friend called Weadam came up to me and said, he could help me get my phone back. I asked him how, but he said not to worry and to trust him. He’ll take me to see someone that can help me. He didn’t give me any detail, he only told me to get ready the next day, and we’ll go and see him after work.

He gave me hope, so I was excited, I couldn’t wait. The next day came, I had high hopes. After work I got in his car, and he drove me into an estate. He led me to one house at the far end of the estate. The place was very quiet, so I asked him, what we were doing here. He said nothing, and asked me to follow him.

So we got inside, a lady was seen seated at the entrance of the gate. We greeted her, and Weadam said, “We’ve come to see Torgbui Bahjidiwe Agbeme”. I wanted to run, but Weadam held my hand tight. Honestly if I knew I was coming to see a spiritualist, I wouldn’t have followed him. No wonder he didn’t give me any details. I was really pissed, but I was already there, no turning back now.

The lady asked us to pay, 50 cedis consultation fee. We paid and she gave me a piece of paper with my names on it, to take inside. We entered the house, and there was another man sitting on a mat wearing all white. He welcomed us and told us to follow him. He pointed to a room and told us to remove our shoes before going inside. He then took the paper the lady gave us and went away.

We entered the room, the spiritualist had some weird items in the room, the room was painted white and red with some voodoo signs all over. He then beckoned us to sit down. Then he said, “I am the great Torgbui Bahjidiwe Agbeme, the most powerful spiritualist, how can I help you CleDre”. I was shocked he knew my name, der norr I was steady, then I ask how he knew my name, but he didn’t answer me.

Then I told him, someone had stolen my phone at the office, and I wanted help finding who that was, since no one wanted to own up. Torgbui smiled and said my problem is a small one. Then he started chanting and throwing cowries and bones on the mat he sat on. Minutes later he said he’s spoken to the oracle, they’ve agreed to help me but they’ll need some items from me.

He said, “the oracle wants 2 large poultry white fowls, 3 white eggs, garden eggs 3 cedis, pepper 50 pesewas, 2 pieces of salmon or tuna fish, 2 dried salted fish, onions 1 cedi, ginger and garlic 1 cedi each, 2 tins of tomato paste, onga spices and cow intestines”. We were there staring at him like

IMG_20150722_123531

Then I whispered to Weadam, “charle eno be ingredients for light soup be that?, you sure say this guy be legit?”. I was whispering but Torgbui heard it and was like, “the oracle needs these items to perform the necessary ritual to locate your phone. And I was like, “Torgbui can’t I just order light soup from the nearest chop bar for you instead of bringing these item?”, Torgbui was likeIMG_20150902_114441

Then Torgbui said, “make u no come fool for here, you think say ebi joke we dey come joke for here? You for make steady before I make you disappear”. Then I got angry, and said, “sia man, you be fake, you just dey fool people for here, you be scammer, I go report you give police, fake man”, I even took pictures of him with my android. He got angry and told me to delete the picture but I refused! I told him he has no power, there was nothing he could do.

“Wait and see”, that was all he said. I told my friend how disappointed I was in him, and told him I was waiting for him in the car. I stormed out of the house slamming the doors.

Ever since I went to see Torgbui, anytime I sleep, I see this goat chasing me.

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Anytime I look at myself in the mirror, this is the reflection I see

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Anytime I get inside my car, I see a dwarf sitting next to me like this one

IMG_20150718_2137444-1-1

Please accompany me to go beg Torgbui Bahjidiwe Agbeme, I will not fool again, I beg, please help.

IMG_20150718_081721

 

story by: @AbokiCleDre (follow me on twitter)

Copyright © 2016 by @AbokiCleDre on twitter

All rights reserved. No Copy and Paste. Unlawful copy of this piece is prohibited. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed “Attention: Permissions Coordinator,” at the address below.

email: 101cledre@gmail.com/AbokiCleDre@gmail.com

twitter: @AbokiCleDre

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