Same Sex

I dey house dey mind my own business wey my paddy bell me, asking me my plans for tonight,  wey I flow am say, I dey house, home body…got nothing to do

Then he flow me say, make I put my swag on cos we gonna party! Then I biz am say, those pple demma ntampe(weed) he start dey smoke some?

He said, u di3 u no go shun ur fooling eh? Wey I start dey laugh..then I biz am the run down for tonight, wey he say some chilling levels ooh

I conf..why u dey organize some Fifa tournament? He said naaa…Why? u go see 1000 Ghana for ground anaa? He say no…charle wassup

My old boy and old gal lef for ksi, they wont be back until 3 days, starting tonight. Then I say heerrhh u fool oh, u bell me sake of this? lol

He say naa, why? u dey organizer some house party anaa? He say sia, u want my kokonsa neighbors to chuk give my old boy? hahha then i start to laugh am, sia fearoo

He say nigga guess what? I say kwasia u get credit bell me to guess? We all go dey the line top, if u no go talk, we all dey…*silence*….

Heerrhh u fool oh, then I flow am say, u figa say I dey joke eh, he start dey laugh, he say charle my old boy lef in car oh, then I said…

And so? then he said,i know where he hid his car keys hahaha, norr my eyes lit up, o boy wey evil u planning? Then he say party + car equals?

I say equals ony3! Then he say we’ll go to the mall tonight to have a good time, am I in or out? Way i biz am say, u go invite boys?

He said, why I dey run orphanage? Plus am low on budget, I get 20 Ghana petrol money and some pizza and coke money, ebi me and you p3

So what time? Like 7pm I go come ur house..i say vim charle. then I remembered, charle where ur siblings dey? Them go chuk u give ur dad

I’ll sort them out, I go push them all go church, then I go run come house hahaha,i start to laugh hard, then i siad, ebi God u dey joke plus eh? lol u no dey fear God eh? u dey push ur siblings go church sake of u wan get time chill plus ur poppy ein ref lol, man u evil, still laughing…

My next headache was to find something to wear, all my clothes were dirty, my laundry bin had more clothes than my closet charle 😦

After digging and smelling couple of my clothes I managed to pick something out, ironed it and blessed it with perfume..hahaha y3 w) kurom

Waiting for 7pm was like waiting for ur crush is to reply ur text message, finally my paddy bell me say he’s on his way, then I start to dress up

Mom came to my room, saw me dressing up and asked me where i was off to? i told her to see Frank, then she said, wearing that? Then I asked what’s wrong with what I was wearing, she said don’t u think you’ve over dressed? I said no, it’s ok

Then she left, 2mins Frank bell me say he’s in front of my house, make we bounce. Even tho I told my mom where I’m going, I was scared charle, cos my mom was like an FBI agent, she fit investigate my movements charle 

I got out, some red Toyota Camry oh, he opened the door, I hopped in, nd said, charle move the car nw before my dad comes outside hahaha

Come nd see us, cruising like fraud boys, playing shatta wale, oya chop kiss mmwwaa b33b3 b33b3…man for that moment,life was good man, the feeling was gooooooooooood!

We got to the mall nd ordered some pizza nd coke nd some Heineken. We were chopping nd spying the fine geers all around us. Ghana mma ho y3 fe ruff! tum tum a tum tum, k)k)) a k)k)), i was almost drooling looking at them charle, every girls wants to look fly when coming to the mall, don’t blame me, i was just observing lol

After an hour some 2 girls sat across us. It was none of my business tho but I noticed my paddy had been staring at them all night charle, be like in turkey rise, 0p3 mma ruff, the kramain syndrome charle 

Then I said, nigga why? U no see women b4? U take ur kramian life come here eh? This nigga was drooling la, this one di3 them curse u, he was still staring straight at them la

He said he’s going to invite them over, then I said, kwasia where u know them from? If them be witches how u go know? Nigga no mind me

He went over, they said they waiting for some clients bi, then he told them to join us while they wait for their clients, they agreed to join us, my heart sunk la, i had an awkward feeling about them bruh…maybe how they looking cute, kinda scared me *shy face*

Two girls, one tall, one short, the tall ger had biceps like a man, ger no ab) ruff, the short get was normal, that’s what I thought lol

They both had short jeans nd some crop top…my paddy was chatting nd laughing with the tall chick, the short ger was on her phone, ignoring me like i didn’t exist, but i was looking for a signal inviting me to chat with her…

So it was difficult to talk with her. But I said, my name is CleDre, call me Cle, she smiled & replied, Im Edem, with a deep male voice… eeiii, i nearly shouted!

Edem? She said yes, then she was back to her phone. It was getting late it was 10pm already, the girls said they wanted to go home…i even didnt realize it was that late until i checked my watch

Foolishly my paddy offered them a ride home. He gave me the car keys to drive, he sat behind me with the tall chick, then the short girl Joined me in front. No traffic I was just speeding, they said they lived at Madina estate, they have a hostel there, UPS students

I got to legon, then took a right turn towards UPS, then one of the girls said she wanted to urinate, my ♥ stopped & I swallowed saliva…

I pulled over & they both got out to piss, I was looking at them in the side mirror, these girls were urinating standing like men charle, i mean which kinda girls will stand to urinate? aint that how men stand to do their thing?

Then I said, Frank spy the girls, see how they urinating, my paddy said u fool oooh, u be perv waa, I said naa u spy something…sounding very serious

The glasses were tainted so they didn’t see us..these girls were urinating like men, nd shaking their hands just like how men do oooh sh*t got real quick 

Heerrhh charle they’re gays charle, norr my paddy starts to freak out, he wan cry sef, then I told him to relax, I have a plan, he should Jus play along…so the girls(boys) joined us…Then I speed of to UPS bus stop, then I stop the engine, nd started complaining about

The car, the alternator nd carburetor in the car has stop, then I signaled my paddy, then he started cursing the car like ebi human haha lol, he was playing along like how i told him to lol

We got out, nd told the girls to wait while we get a mechanic around Asanka local der norr, I locked the car nd called a taxi, jumped in Nd never saw them again hahaha told my paddy we’ll come for the car in the morning hahaha Eeii charle that day eh, come and see sweatings, my heart was racing like Usain Bolt that day charle 

Around 12am my paddy text me saying, one of the girls called to tell him they still waiting for us next to the car…Then I said WMT if u answer their call again, i go curse ur whole generations, abeg lef me make i sleep lol

 

story by: @AbokiCledre

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Copyright © 2016 by @AbokiCleDre on twitter

All rights reserved. No Copy and Paste. Unlawful copy of this piece is prohibited. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed “Attention: Permissions Coordinator,” at the address below.

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